I`ve been thinking about this a lot this days, maybe because usually I`m aware of my mistakes exactly when I do them. I am a positive girl, thank God for that because only with Him I can wake up every day and start a new chapter. But I can`t shake off the feeling that my book is pretty boring `cause nothing amazing is happening right now. It`s like I am standing and waiting for something without even doing what I like. Do you guys feel like this or I am the weirdest of you all?
I know that my writing is not pretty regular, maybe because I kind of felt that I lost my voice. Which was the biggest struggle ever. My mom used to tell me that I am made to speak my mind and to tell what I feel and to do something good with my voice, and feeling that I have a billion of thoughts but I just can`t express them was kind of scary because I was like: ok, now my brain will just blow up like a bomb and the result won`t be pretty at all.
After weeks of trying to make something with me and trying to make things right on my way I just lost it. Shut all down, and take time for me, for putting things just the way I feel like they should be. Maybe some of you will be like: ok, and the point is? Bear with me please and you`ll see. Hopefully!
1. Life is beautiful. Painful sometimes but it is a miracle.What I have done was pretty simple. I made a mental list of all the things I could be thankful for if I just want to. Basic things, like my home, my parents, my health, every single breath I can take, the sun and the list can go on.
2. I am beautiful because....
I am not usually so into making lists but it seemed like the right time for them. So I made another list with all the reason I am feeling beautiful. Maybe it will sound very egocentric but it`s not. `Cause I didn`t make me so me saying that I am beautiful because of me would be so wrong. But I am beautiful because of His love and because how that it makes me feel.
3. Be thankful
I guess this was my freaking struggle. I am not a competitive person. I don`t really want to win something, I don`t want to be known, I just do things because I like them. But when it comes to my life or to what I should to I`m so weird because I always want to do things better for others. Which is so wrong. If I see things like this, and sadly I do it often I will fail in every single thing. Why? `Cause I can`t do anything for someone if he doesn`t want it. So, I learnt, on the hard way to be thankful for what I am through Christ and to be thankful just for being in someone life.
I don`t usually write here posts about me because I don`t think I can make them useful but today I felt like I should be more open and I wrote exactly my feelings and I am praying that it can be an encouragement for you and it can be a different perspective of seeings things. I`ll love to hear from you in the comments or mail ( firstname.lastname@example.org) about your struggles and how you passed them.
With love, Allie